USU and Brooke

Princess Brooke, 

     I think for a long time I was in denial that you would be going so far away to Utah State for college, and then once it happened I kept trying to not dwell on the fact that you are not just on a six-month trip but on a four-year and maybe living outside Texas from now on kind of journey. I was trying so much not to dwell on that sad thing for me..... that I didn't even write about it to you in your book. 

Since you just came back for Thanksgiving and will be coming back for Christmas in a few weeks, I can dwell on you being at college for a moment while I remember you will be right back. 

It is a miracle that you are at the school of your choice Brooke and I don't want you to ever forget that miracle in your life. Heavenly Father allows hardships to happen because that's mortality, but He does take and use those hard things and uses all things to work for our good. ( Romans 8:28 one of my favorite scriptures  ) 

Your Dad's life events caused lots of hard things but out of that you received the chance to go to the expensive school that you otherwise could never have gone to if you didn't qualify for assistance. You did do your part Brooke, which is why I know God went before you. You are a hard worker and you also found scholorships on top of your assistance, but the Lord's hand can not be overlooked. If we had a regular income like we would have, you would not have had parents that could say we would help pay for you to go to this expensive out of state school. 

I hope you always see the little things Heavenly Father and Jesus are doing for us. If we don't take a moment to think about the good things happening we might miss miracles right in front of us. 

I saw a miracle or tender mercy when we dropped you off at Utah State this August Brooke. The miracle may have been at first for me, but served you later as well. 

I was so worried about dropping you off at college so far away because I had no way of rushing to your room to get you up for church on Sundays anymore Brooke. As painful as Sunday mornings have been for the last 18 years in trying to get us out the door with baby brother having been nursed, changed, packed and your hair curled and your mouth fed, I now know how much I was in paradise to be able to pack you up and take you myself to church. I was not worried about anything else as Grandma and Grandpa Pack and Will and I were leaving you at your apartment to say our goodbye; only worried how you'd find out the time you were supposed to go and where it would be to go, where those living by you would be, and not a random ward. 

As we had hugged bye I suddenly noticed a paper on your apartment door that was not there even one hour before we went for our last meal together until you came back to Texas. I ran over to the paper on the door as you yelled at me, " Mom! You can't just take papers off the door, its not just my house!" Well, how glad I was that I did go get that paper because it was from your ward. The paper had the address, time, plus an invitation for a linger longer that would happen the next day.

 Had I dropped you off even 2 hours earlier, I would have never seen that paper.and I would have left Utah still worried. 

 The moment I read the paper, I was reminded that in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints we are organized. God is organized, and of course He would have an organized church; not to say He doesn't work in the other churches because I know He does work with people where they are and in all lives and churches; but there is the highest order and highest power of the Priesthood in His fullness of His church which you can see even down to each auxiliary and calling. 

 Yes, it was just a piece of paper but it allowed me the peace to know that you knew where your building was on the first Sunday away from home in your new ward and without a car, and walking! 

We were blessed to be able to drive along the side of the road to show you how you'd walk to church the next day and I took a picture of that paper which allowed me weeks later to help you know how to join the group chat which we all apparently didn't think of telling you to scan the QR code that day. 

Brooke, I am grateful for your testimony building moments. 

A month or so into classes I received a nice text from you that made my day because you told me that in your Human Development class you are learning about how children go through stages and what they need. You told me you thought about how I did all the things your class taught you parents should do for best development, yet you knew I didn't take that class or any parenting classes and that you had the thought it was the Holy Ghost or Spirit that taught me how to do all those best methods. 

I knew that was true. The Holy Ghost did help me and does help me, and you. 

You got your wisdom teeth out a few weeks ago and you were in Utah! Not here where I could take care of you, but let me remind you for when you read this later that you had a car full of girls, your roommates who wanted to be there to pick you up and took care of you with getting you ice cream and whatever help you needed, which made me happy for you! 

You told Grandma, Grandpa Pack and me that while you were about to be put under you felt the comfort of the Holy Ghost and you knew the prayers were being heard. 

I can't tell you how thrilled I was to hear you were changing your major to nursing and I hope that it sticks but either way, I felt grateful that some piece of your experience maybe going with me to take care of my patient Jeffery and watching me feed him through his feeding tube or maybe going to visit my patient Al in the hospital touched your heart to be loving in sickness and to our fellow travelers in need. You told me you don't remember watching the wound care on Al's feet I did so that actually might be a good thing you can't remember that right now, since you do have some apprehension about trauma. 

When I hear you and your roommates are doing funny and your silly things, I try to give thanks in my heart you are there where you finally live with your best friends Maddy and Aly, but we do miss you so much Brooke! 

Will said, " Its amazing Brooke found a house full of girls that want to do all the strange things Brooke likes!" 

Will and you got to do some things together when you were here and I hope that you know that he also prays for you and that you will always stay close to Will, because just like you wanted to follow him around as he was a baby, so he didn't fall, he also thinks about you too and I know because he tells me. 

You are so loved Brooke! Your Grandma and Grandpa Pack, your Dad, Will and I are constantly praying for you and loving you. 

Love, 

Mommy💝

This Thanksgiving in down town McKinney 

Moving you in to college 

Your college apartment single room with your own bathroom! 

We went to the Logan Temple the weekend we dropped you off at USU

Your college adventure with Maddy 

                       Thanksgiving 2024

God's Hands

 Brooke and Will, 

I told this on text to our family last week but want to tell you again here in your book. 

I was thinking about how in our lives sometimes we get so worried or caught up in the difficult things around us or in our lives, that we fail to see the beauty and gifts that we have been given, right in front of us. 

When Will and I were at Alta Mira in Guatemala, the thing that stood out to me was how scared I was about going onto that hand. In my defense, we did see complete houses being held with construction methods of stacked water jugs as the column to a roof. I had the thoughts like, there aren't regulations or checks here and who knows what's holding this piece of art in the air thousands of feet high, that I am going to go out on? I loved how pretty it was, but I was more focused on my worry that I might fall and die. I was impressed with the work of Our Almighty Father, God in Heaven in the miraculous beauty of the earth that I was staring at, but I wanted to hurry and get the part I was afraid of over. I did overcome my fear as you know. ( I have proof in the photo ) Since I more than got over being afraid but triumphed it in a big way with going on with my heels, the next day with Audrey's family.

 Those who were there knew I almost didn't even step on that hand so high in the air. So, how did I do it? With help. The guide we were with (Luis) , actually helped me go on the hand by taking my hand and walking with me and telling me its safe. In our lives we have the help of Jesus and those He gives us. Jesus is like Luis helping me or Jesus helping us do something hard and scary as we are literally also putting ourselves in His hand, it takes trust to know that even the daily frustrations, trials or major trials like sickness, pain, financial, relationships, work success, in all of these things we must literally do what we can and then trust in Jesus and God our Father.

 Now when I see my picture I was thinking about how in His hand we can triumph and we don't need to be so scared that we miss the beauty of the gifts we have right in front of us and the awe inspiring events that show us God is in the details of our lives. If we get so worried about what if, then we also can't help those around us that need us to take their hand like Jesus. 

I read this talk with this beautiful quote. In the quote it reminds me that even when or if things aren't perfect or might not go well the first time doesn't mean and it made me think about how we are in good hands. The best of hands. The hands that gave us ALL GOOD things we have and that's a lot. 

"I witness to you that through the staggering goodness of Jesus Christ and His infinite Atonement, we can escape the deserved agonies of our moral failings and overcome the undeserved agonies of our mortal misfortunes. Under His direction, your divine destiny will be one of unparalleled magnificence and indescribable joy—a joy so intense and so unique to you, your particular “ashes” will become beauties “beyond anything earthly.”

8th Grade Will!

 Will, 

There have been A LOT of changes for you the past few months and you are taking it amazingly! Not only did you enter the 8th grade for this school year; not only was it a new school year where half of your friends stayed at the other middle school and you are at a brand new school, but it is like you have a brand new home life because your big sister is not home anymore, because she went off to Utah State a few weeks ago. 

Will, you are amazing because you have had some tough days where you want to go to the school that has the majority of your friends, and I talk about trying to figure out how to get you back into that old school of yours, but your amazing resilience kicks in and you say to me, " I just need to give it a few more weeks. I have to study anyways. I have to get good grades because some of my classes are high school credit now. " And you are amazing because you are trying really hard with having Spanish class and having a hard enough time with reading and writing English, you are wanting to learn Spanish and work to study with your Grandma Pack and me as you ask me if I know what certain Spanish words mean to practice. 

Speaking of Spanish, it is not a coincidence that you were able to go to Guatemala this summer. It was a blessing from the Lord, Aunt Audrey and Grandma and Grandpa Pack and me, who bought your airline ticket, that you and I could go and meet Aunt Audrey's family there. 

You really loved Guatemala Will, because you love family. Even when some of our trip was sitting with family that spoke the entire time in a language you did not know, you were patient and engaged in the conversation where you could be until Audrey's kids arrived on the trip. Grandma and Grandpa Pack were so giving wanting you and I to stay in a 5 star hotel in Antigua before Aunt Audrey's family arrived. We literally stayed in a Montessori where the nuns from hundreds of years ago lived. On the grounds of the hotel there were priest buried there. It was funny sometimes to be creeped out for you by that and it would be creepy except, it was actually sacred if you asked me, since the early Catholic church was incredibly important for Christianity to spread and exist which was enabled so that when the religious freedom could be in the USA, the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ could arrive and priesthood. I told you that there couldn't have been a better kind of 5 star hotel for me to stay at, because we were surrounded by artifacts with plaques explaining how the nuns used them, and yet it was very beautiful even though old. 

You take after your Grandma Pack and me Will, more so Grandma, but me some, in that even getting to the hotel in Antigua, Santo Domingo , you guys still went to the gym to workout, at past 10pm at night! 

You talked me into going on a zip line with you Will and it was pretty scary but so pretty. The zip line was high in the mountains and the last of many flys was a superman position and the person at the bottom pulls a cord where you jolt to a stop. I would not have done that if you didn't want me to Will. You are not afraid of heights at all, and actually you made me not be afraid either. 

When your cousins Hyrum, Eli, and Lehi ( the boys ) arrived, you had them to disappear with in the market and because Hyrum just came home off his mission and speaks fluent Spanish, I was not worried as much about you. 

You are so intuitive and smart Will. Once when just you and I were shopping at the market, you would always pull me aside before I went to buy something and tell me that I can pay less and you'd go talk to the sales person by putting a number in your phone and showing it to them. You'd play this silent game with zero words, negotiating back and forth on your phone with the calculator, until they said yes. 

Once when the power went out in the entire Air B&B and Grandma and I were figuring out how to finish getting ready, you found some power that worked only in the kitchen and you plugged my straightener in and you went and took the mirror off the bathroom wall and came and got me with a solution none if us even thought of. 

I was very scared to walk onto this hand up in the mountains of Antigua at Alta Mira and I truly almost didn't walk onto it scared, since you and the driver guide we had talked me into it, I overcame my fear of heights which I didn't know I had until being asked to walk onto a high high mountain and a hand like a cliff. After I was not scared, the second time we went there with Audrey's family, I was prepared with a better outfit and carried my heels in a back pack and hiked up in my skirt but changed into my heels before getting on the hand. When we were doing this, you were able to show Grandma how to take better pictures by adjusting her light on her phone, so then you became the photographer too. 

It was really neat to see you meet your family in Guatemala that you had never met and we got to go perform vicarious baptisms in the Guatemala temple which was so special that your cousin Hyrum could perform the baptism. It was special to see these boys faith filled together in a country of their heratige doing work for their ancestors. You told me you felt their spirits and I know I felt the angels around us in a thick presence of the spirit which is faith, love, gentleness, patience and all holiness. 

I wish your Spanish teacher could know how much you actually want to learn Spanish, but I know that she has a lot of kids to teach, but I know how you keep asking to study, and I know that's how it is with Heavenly Father, that He knows how we ask in prayer and in our hearts for things, and I think you will be able to speak Spanish fluently someday because, in all reality Will, you have been asking if you could study Spanish with Grandma even years ago and you downloaded Dulingo to learn Spanish 3 years ago! 

That's another reason I know its not coincidence you were able to go to Guatemala this summer, you always asked me, " Mom why don't we have the Spanish culture. " 

Even though you are missing Brooke you are making it a point to call her and you make the best of everything and the new school, etc. That's why I know you are amazing Will! You keep telling me you want to make friends with the boys in your quorum being at a new school where they are and sometimes you have prayed in our dinner prayer that you can be their friend. I know this shows your great faith that you pray for this Will. You know to pray, Heavenly Father will help you. 

We are so grateful for you Will. 

Love, 

Mommy💝