We thought we would make our eight hour drive to Kansas City as complicated as possible, because that's how it seems that we do many things in our family. It is almost as if we enjoy not actually knowing what is going to happen at any given moment.
Of course complicated is okay when compared to some horrifying experiences we have had on our many road trips to KC.
We will never forget when Brooke had to go potty so so bad that we had to stop roadside in the middle of no where. We parked aside a lot of trees, so that she wouldn't be seen. As Brooke gets her pants down we realize we are standing only a foot away from a beehive! looking up at the tree above us are hundreds of bees crawling on it! There is hardly a better way to scare the pee out someone!!! It was the quickest Brooke has ever finished her call of nature, and for anyone who has taken her to the bathroom, they know what I mean ;) You must know something about me and bees to totally envision this experience. I am terrified of bees and I run from them every time I see them! Brooke and I ran as fast as we could back into the car that was very close by, only to realize that we had bees covering our entire windshield. This is not a joke... Had we stayed there even seconds longer someone would have gotten stung for sure. Good thing we are fast ;)
Another horrifying experience we had was when we were again not anywhere near restrooms. Will was about eight months old. Brooke started screaming, " Mommy Will has chocolate all over his hands!" I look over in horror because it was poop! He had one of those blow out diapers in the middle of no where, all over his car seat and then playing with it on his hands and we had no sink or soap!!!! Wipes do come in handy, but this was disgusting. For the next fifteen min. that seemed like an hour to the closest restroom to wash him all off, Kevin decided this was a good time to give Brooke a lecture on parenting. He started saying, " Brooke, this is the reason why teenagers should never have babies and in fact you shouldn't even have a boyfriend until you are out of college so you wont accidentally have a baby." Brooke as inquisitive as she is just stuck with the why would she accidentally have a baby, she missed the poop on the baby part that Kevin was trying to ingrain into her mind...He realized he made even more of a mess by bringing her into it ;)
We have had our fun on the way to KC too, don't get me wrong. Holding baby alligators at strange road side zoos, visiting snake farms, and wondering why our three year old Brooke had no problem watching a mouse get fed to a python? I took her away, it freaked me out she didn't care, buying baby ducks at a farmers market...Oh and yes, I can't forget the largest Toaster Museum in the world as the sign states. Come on, how many toaster museums are there? But we had to see it no questions asked...This man had the biggest collections of toasters it was hilarious to see, and neat. He had the very first model ever made of the toaster!!! And, Arbuckles stops top it all...luring hyenas towars us with a pig nose ;)
Luckily our drive to KC wasn't horrifying this weekend, it was fun, mixed with food as a new distraction to our destination. We had to order pizza in a random town, pick it up at the wrong location, and re-order it there. I had a craving for vanilla ice cream with vanilla wafers. We finally found a gas station that had the vanilla wafers, so that was good. I was contemplating going into a Walmart.... The craziest part of our drive was that Kevin almost got a finger taken off!!!!! Yes, really a finger would have been gone if he didn't happen to have a million spare body parts, just like cats have spare lives....Strangely enough he seems to have something keeping him alive, even after all the dangerous things he has done...Maybe I have those spare lives too? ( Getting in a cage with a bear this past December... )
COMING SOON...HOW DID KEVIN ALMOST LOOSE A FINGER?????
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